I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
