In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
