hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
