Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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