sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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