Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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