smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
