Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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