How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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