Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
