Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
