i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
