I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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