Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
