Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
