I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
