I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
