I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
