wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize