Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
