How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize