hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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