was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
