so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
