i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
