worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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