the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
where am i from again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
