STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
