It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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