Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
