Me. At least after what I've been through.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
