sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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