she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
