i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
