Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
