We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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