You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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