What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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