super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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