He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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