I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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