So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
