The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
