she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
