Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
