so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
