hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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