Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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