I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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