my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
