This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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