are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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