Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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